We can use this beautiful Hawaiian ritual to bring everything back into right relationship or a place of integrity with all of our relationships.

 

It can be done by calling someone  into your awareness, sending them loving energy and going through the process below in your heart or in a written letter.

 

It is far more powerful and effective to have a conversation, ideally in person or alternatively on the phone.  If this person is still alive, it is highly recommended to set up a time where you can be in a private space without distractions for this ritual.

 

You can do this with everyone in your life to make sure that there are not any threads of incompletion pulling at you from the past so you can be even more powerfully present in the now.  If you would like to do this with someone that has passed away, you can write a letter and then call their spirit in to receive it and read it to them. 

 

Start with the people you may have the most to clear with - your parents, siblings, partner, ex-partners, children and move onto friends. 

 

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The translation of the Hawaiian Mantra Ho'o Pono Pono is:

 

I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I love you and thank you, Ho' o Pono Pono, Ho' o Pono Pono.

 

Begin with an apology for a few specific things you feel you could have done with more love, care and integrity. It could be something big or can be apologizing for judging them, apologizing for not accepting them the way that they are and trying to change them based on your idea of how they should be, apologizing for projecting expectations upon them and being passively aggressive and resentful when they did not fully meet these expectations.  

 

On a deep level, we all want to be seen and heard.  Acknowledge how it may have made them feel with full empathy and compassion. 

 

Give them space to express.

 

Listen with your full heart.

 

Notice if the desire to defend yourself arises and continue to breathe into your heart.  Respond by repeating what they have expressed to you so that they know that you got it and you really listened.

 

Then, express how much they mean to you, how much you love them and how grateful you are for their presence in your life. Share a few specific things that you are grateful for.  It can even be that they have challenged you so you can see your shadow and know where you have opportunities to grow.

 

Acknowledge a few specific things about them personally or how they have shown up and thank them.

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Give them space to express their love and gratitude if it naturally arises.

 

Close with a hug and feel how gratitude and forgiveness have opened your hearts and created a deeper sense of connection.